Two Extremes
James Joyce used 29,899 different words in Ulysses. That's not the total word count but 29,899 separate words, many used multiple times, many of which were created by Joyce.
Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham with fifty words, of which “Not” is used the most often (82 times) and “I” the second most (81). All words except “anywhere” (used eight times) are monosyllabic.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Millipede Invasion
I'm going out on a limb and guessing that this news story about a 72-year-old woman's being invaded by millipedes is a joke.
"Mrs. Foot(e)"?
I'm going out on a limb and guessing that this news story about a 72-year-old woman's being invaded by millipedes is a joke.
"Mrs. Foot(e)"?
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Literary Mythologies
Just read Jason Colavito's The Cult of Alien Gods: H.P. Lovecraft and Extraterrestrial Pop Culture which claims that H.P. started the whole ancient astronaut/gods from outer space craze.
I was surprised by this quote: "To be a member of a pure-blooded race ought to be the greatest achievement in life."
First of all, that's not really an achievement, now is it? But I'd always thought Lovecraft was more open-minded. Apparently he began life as a right-wing extremist but a few years after making that quote, he married Sonia Greene, a Russian Jew (big shock, they divorced a couple years later) Eventually after financial crisis after crisis, he wound up supporting Roosevelt and became a border-line socialist.
What interested me the most were his gods. I've been trying to find different groups of gods made up entirely by SF and fantasy writers but haven't been able to come up with a good source. The book listed:
Clark Ashton Smith - Tsathoggua the toad god
Robert Ervin Howard - Krom, Kathulos (independently created god very similar to Cthulhu)
Howard Phillips Lovecraft - Cthulhu and the boys
I know a few more. Fritz Leiber had an extensive pantheon of gods in the Gray Mouser series. The rabbits had a god and holy messenger in Richard Adams' Watership Down. Alan Dean Foster had many gods in his shared world universe. Robert Asprin had the gods of Thieves' World and Micheal Moorcock had them in Elric's universe.
There has got to be more. I've googled for them but I can't think of a good way to phrase it without getting all sorts of goofy crap (some of which is interesting but not what I was looking for).
Just read Jason Colavito's The Cult of Alien Gods: H.P. Lovecraft and Extraterrestrial Pop Culture which claims that H.P. started the whole ancient astronaut/gods from outer space craze.
I was surprised by this quote: "To be a member of a pure-blooded race ought to be the greatest achievement in life."
First of all, that's not really an achievement, now is it? But I'd always thought Lovecraft was more open-minded. Apparently he began life as a right-wing extremist but a few years after making that quote, he married Sonia Greene, a Russian Jew (big shock, they divorced a couple years later) Eventually after financial crisis after crisis, he wound up supporting Roosevelt and became a border-line socialist.
What interested me the most were his gods. I've been trying to find different groups of gods made up entirely by SF and fantasy writers but haven't been able to come up with a good source. The book listed:
Clark Ashton Smith - Tsathoggua the toad god
Robert Ervin Howard - Krom, Kathulos (independently created god very similar to Cthulhu)
Howard Phillips Lovecraft - Cthulhu and the boys
I know a few more. Fritz Leiber had an extensive pantheon of gods in the Gray Mouser series. The rabbits had a god and holy messenger in Richard Adams' Watership Down. Alan Dean Foster had many gods in his shared world universe. Robert Asprin had the gods of Thieves' World and Micheal Moorcock had them in Elric's universe.
There has got to be more. I've googled for them but I can't think of a good way to phrase it without getting all sorts of goofy crap (some of which is interesting but not what I was looking for).
General Oba Shot
For years now, a local activist and/or nutcase General Kabaka Oba of the Black Fist has been media whoring the Cincinnati airwaves. Although he made incredibly stupid statements on a regular basis ("I am the most racist man in Cincinnati"), he usually came off as just loony on WAIF's the Bottom Line , not evil or dangerous. Apparently the matter behind the shooting started from a minor matter and both sides kept it snowballing out of control. Just last week, on the Bottom Line, the host repeatedly asked Kabaka for a "sit-down" to end the fighting. He just shrugged it off.
I keep thinking of Timothy Treadwell--keep pushing the edge and eventually you're going to fall off.
For more on the situation, click on This and this.
For years now, a local activist and/or nutcase General Kabaka Oba of the Black Fist has been media whoring the Cincinnati airwaves. Although he made incredibly stupid statements on a regular basis ("I am the most racist man in Cincinnati"), he usually came off as just loony on WAIF's the Bottom Line , not evil or dangerous. Apparently the matter behind the shooting started from a minor matter and both sides kept it snowballing out of control. Just last week, on the Bottom Line, the host repeatedly asked Kabaka for a "sit-down" to end the fighting. He just shrugged it off.
I keep thinking of Timothy Treadwell--keep pushing the edge and eventually you're going to fall off.
For more on the situation, click on This and this.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
First Comics
What might be a meme in the making is a nerdy challenge to write about your first comic books. Want to read about another geeky first comic's experience? No? You have some semblance of a life? You must tell me about that sometime.
Anyway, I remember plenty of old horror comics that my dad bought me (Gold Key Boris Karloff presents or something) and funny animal comics which were apparently written by guys with just enough pride not to sell themselves for medical experiments or at the closest greyhound depot.
The first comics I bought myself were The Incredible Hulk #259 and Man-Thing #10. Even though this doesn't match up with the dates given on the other web pages, this must have been in February of 1981, about halfway through my seventh grade year. Neither comic made much of an impact with me but the next issue of the Hulk marked the death of Major Talbot, a military idiot who lived only to bomb the Hulk. (In the Marvel Universe, approximately 15% of the budget goes to fund anti-Hulk weaponry which typically works well for about a page and a half before blowing up or becoming sentient and deciding to blow up the universe.)
Major Talbot had been wasting tax-payer money on the Hulk since the early sixties. He stole Bruce Banner's girlfriend, abused and divorced her. He tried to incinerate whole states just to get a crack at the jade giant. Some comic fans had waited twenty years to see him die. I got it in about three weeks. Like Poochie, he was one of the rare comic characters who actually stayed dead (probably more out of a desire not to demonize the U.S. military in Reagan and post-Reagan America than anything else).
Today comic books try to be more "real." The latest story-line is that Congress passed a Patriot Act for superheroes, requiring them to register with the government, and allowing for witty, political observations ("Anyway, like I was saying, it's a very subtle allegory. There's this President Jorge W. Evilbush--"). Still in the 80s, the Hulk fought to the death against Major Talbot's ultimate weapon--the War Wagon--on the set of a Japanese Godzilla movie. Now, that's entertainment.
What might be a meme in the making is a nerdy challenge to write about your first comic books. Want to read about another geeky first comic's experience? No? You have some semblance of a life? You must tell me about that sometime.
Anyway, I remember plenty of old horror comics that my dad bought me (Gold Key Boris Karloff presents or something) and funny animal comics which were apparently written by guys with just enough pride not to sell themselves for medical experiments or at the closest greyhound depot.
The first comics I bought myself were The Incredible Hulk #259 and Man-Thing #10. Even though this doesn't match up with the dates given on the other web pages, this must have been in February of 1981, about halfway through my seventh grade year. Neither comic made much of an impact with me but the next issue of the Hulk marked the death of Major Talbot, a military idiot who lived only to bomb the Hulk. (In the Marvel Universe, approximately 15% of the budget goes to fund anti-Hulk weaponry which typically works well for about a page and a half before blowing up or becoming sentient and deciding to blow up the universe.)
Major Talbot had been wasting tax-payer money on the Hulk since the early sixties. He stole Bruce Banner's girlfriend, abused and divorced her. He tried to incinerate whole states just to get a crack at the jade giant. Some comic fans had waited twenty years to see him die. I got it in about three weeks. Like Poochie, he was one of the rare comic characters who actually stayed dead (probably more out of a desire not to demonize the U.S. military in Reagan and post-Reagan America than anything else).
Today comic books try to be more "real." The latest story-line is that Congress passed a Patriot Act for superheroes, requiring them to register with the government, and allowing for witty, political observations ("Anyway, like I was saying, it's a very subtle allegory. There's this President Jorge W. Evilbush--"). Still in the 80s, the Hulk fought to the death against Major Talbot's ultimate weapon--the War Wagon--on the set of a Japanese Godzilla movie. Now, that's entertainment.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Chameleon Clothes
If this is real, what good would it be other than a novelty item a la the mood ring?
Maybe if you're witnessed committing a crime, it would be good to have a quick way to change the color of your shirt but otherwise would it just be for show?
If this is real, what good would it be other than a novelty item a la the mood ring?
Maybe if you're witnessed committing a crime, it would be good to have a quick way to change the color of your shirt but otherwise would it just be for show?
Top Fears
BBC list of top 20 phobias. It has to be fake.
My sister has a fear of clowns and makes my mom take down a clown doll from the toy shelves before she visits. After watching Grizzly Man, I guess I'm afraid of standing next to a dangerous animal but I can see pictures of them and I just went to the zoo yesterday. I have to hope that the guy with a phobia about pen tops was just joking.
BBC list of top 20 phobias. It has to be fake.
My sister has a fear of clowns and makes my mom take down a clown doll from the toy shelves before she visits. After watching Grizzly Man, I guess I'm afraid of standing next to a dangerous animal but I can see pictures of them and I just went to the zoo yesterday. I have to hope that the guy with a phobia about pen tops was just joking.
Grizzly Man Again
I just watched Grizzly Man for another class, and as goofy as Timothy Treadwell might have been, was he worse than a guy who kills himself and a friend while driving drunk? Gives himself and a loved one lung cancer? Eats himself into a heart attack and wrecks while driving his family? There's all sorts of things Treadwell could have done to kill himself and his girlfriend, granted few as painful and gruesome as being eaten by a bear.
Not that Treadwell was a hero--getting alligators used to people makes them more dangerous and, according to the experts, the same holds true for bears--but he doesn't deserve the hatred that some students have for him.
I think mocking God made more of a difference for some of them than anything else.
I just watched Grizzly Man for another class, and as goofy as Timothy Treadwell might have been, was he worse than a guy who kills himself and a friend while driving drunk? Gives himself and a loved one lung cancer? Eats himself into a heart attack and wrecks while driving his family? There's all sorts of things Treadwell could have done to kill himself and his girlfriend, granted few as painful and gruesome as being eaten by a bear.
Not that Treadwell was a hero--getting alligators used to people makes them more dangerous and, according to the experts, the same holds true for bears--but he doesn't deserve the hatred that some students have for him.
I think mocking God made more of a difference for some of them than anything else.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Smart Ass Shuts Down School
For the second time in a week, a smart ass kid caused a panic at my stepdaughter's school. I couldn't find any news on the second and the principal didn't send an e-mail like the first. The second one was timed so that the police would "lock down" the school, blocking kids from their lockers thereby canceling all homework for Monday.
It's like one of my old prayers 25 years too late.
For the second time in a week, a smart ass kid caused a panic at my stepdaughter's school. I couldn't find any news on the second and the principal didn't send an e-mail like the first. The second one was timed so that the police would "lock down" the school, blocking kids from their lockers thereby canceling all homework for Monday.
It's like one of my old prayers 25 years too late.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Movies That Should Have Won
Does anyone disagree that Citizen Kane should have beat How Green Was My Valley?
If you don't think Raging Bull should have beat Ordinary People, I'll have to hurt you.
I'd go with Ed Wood but would accept Pulp Fiction over Forrest Gump.
I'd like anything over Titanic.
Warning: I've never deleted a comment before but that might change for anyone suggesting that Shakespeare in Love shouldn't have won.
Does anyone disagree that Citizen Kane should have beat How Green Was My Valley?
If you don't think Raging Bull should have beat Ordinary People, I'll have to hurt you.
I'd go with Ed Wood but would accept Pulp Fiction over Forrest Gump.
I'd like anything over Titanic.
Warning: I've never deleted a comment before but that might change for anyone suggesting that Shakespeare in Love shouldn't have won.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Best Losers
Over at Louis's Mr. TV Head blog, I found this poll to vote for the worst Oscar-winning movies of the year.
Here's my break-down:
Didn't see: Gone with the Wind (39), Million Dollar Baby (04), Crash (05)
Worst:
1. Greatest Show on Earth (52) Stick with burning bushes, C.
2. You Can't Take it With You (38) It's a Wonderful Life isn't sappy enough for you? Try Capra's earlier effort.
3. Titanic (97) I liked Kate Winslet's breasts and the part where everyone died.
4. Oliver! (68) This movie doesn't even deserve a snide comment. Considering making it number one.
5. The English Patient (96) The hero makes a deal with the Nazis for the woman he loves. Paging Zombie Bogart to kick the shit out of every pansy involved with this masturbatory pile of slop.
6. Around the World in 80 Days (56) Makes the Jackie Chan version look good.
Bad but forgivable:
1. Gentleman's Agreement (47) Here's Gregory Peck to tell you that hating Jews is wrong.
2. Going My Way (44) "There's a war on. We'd rather vote for Bing singing to choir boys than the much superior Double indemnity.
3. How Green Was My Valley (41) "There's a war in Europe. And Mr. Hearst gave us strict instructions."
4. The Great Ziegfeld (36) You could have made another Thin Man movie from the cast.
5. Mrs. Miniver (42) The weaker, English version of From Here to Eternity. Kinda like the opposite of our beers.
6. Hamlet (48) Everyone says they love this version but, I'm sorry, Gertrude is supposed to be older than her son. Still it's a good way to cut 2-1/2 hours out of a literature class.
7. Forrest Gump (94) "Uh, we're not at war any more. Why didn't we vote for Pulp Fiction?"
8. The Last Emperor (88) Hello, this guy was gayer than James Whale. Shouldn't you have at least hinted at it?
9. Gandhi (82) Just shoot him already and get it over with.
10. The Deer Hunter (78) Yeah, I've got an evening to kill.
11. Silence of the Lambs (91) This is like the opposite of a David Lynch film. The more I think about it, the more I hate it.
12. Ben-Hur (59) You let the Roman Empire fall? Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
Musicals ("Uh, honey, I watched that with you. Don't I deserve a blowjob or something?")
Chicago (02), West Side Story (61), Gigi (59), My Fair Lady (64), American in Paris (51), Sound of Music (65)
("Uh, honey, I watched that with you. Don't I deserve a blowjob from you and a group of your friends?")
Terms of Endearment (83), Ordinary People (80), Kramer vs. Kramer (79), Out of Africa (85)
Category of "Eh"
Platoon (86), American Beauty (99), Best Years of Our Lives (46), Gladiator (00), Braveheart (95), The Sting (73), Driving Miss Daisy (89), Beautiful Mind (01), Chariot of Fire (91), Dances with Wolves (90), Life of Emile Zola (37), Schindler's List (93--yeah, how many times have YOU watched it?)
Liked:
1. All About Eve (50) George Sanders! I love that guy!
2. Midnight Cowboy (69) Why was this rated "X"?
3. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (75) Just try that with the Joker!
4. Broadway Melody (28) Hey, it's making noises!
5. Cimmaron (30) The black kid named Napoleon dies saving a couple of white girls. Hey, just think of how the audience in Georgia reacted.
6. On the Waterfront (54) Too much message but it's got the line.
7. Laurence of Arabia (62) I like that scene with the match.
8. Grand Hotel (31) It's mentioned in The Apartment.
9. The Apartment (60) Fred MacMurray as a sadistic SOB? I love that guy!
10. Rocky (76) Yes, you do too.
11. Cavalcade (32) The Titanic sinks in 15 minutes!
12. Amadeus (84) That's Mozart's middle name.
13. All the King's Men (49) It's funny cuz it's true.
14. A Man for All Seasons (66) I even like the Charlie Heston version.
15. Wings (27) D.W. could have done it better but he was probably drunk at the time.
16. Mutiny on the Bounty (35) Look at him whip that guy! You'd think he was Jesus!
17. Marty (55) They drink beer on screen. That was shocking for the times.
18. It Happened One Night (34) "Uh, honey, yes, I did like it. Okay, I'll get to work.
19. The Lost Weekend (45) "Yeah, it's Reefer Madness Redux but Billy should have won last year. And I like that scene with the bat and the rat."
20. Annie Hall (77) Just to piss off the Star Wars fans.
21. From Here to Eternity (53) This is pretty close to "eh."
Favorites:
1. The Godfather II (74) And he went on to make that stupid version of Dracula.
2. The Godfather (72) And Frankenstein.
3. Patton (70) "Damn! He shot that mule in the head!"
4. Rebecca (40) George Sanders and Alfred Hitchcock! I'm in love!
5. In the Heat of the Night (67) "Do they call you Virgil?"
6. The French Connection (71) The 70s rocked (in this regard).
7. Rain Man (89) I actually don't want to punch Tom Cruise in the face!
8. Casablanca (43) Hey, Bogart, check out that piece of crap that wins in '96.
9. Bridge on the River Kwai (58) Is it just me or are American actors much worse than British?
10. Unforgiven (92) Clint.
11. Return of the King (03) Yes, I'm openly geeky.
12. Shakespeare in Love (98) "Thank you God! I don't care what Covington says--Speilberg and Hanks lost--you do exist!"
13. Tom Jones (63) Hey, in the 60s and not a musical. I use it in class and--oh, nevermind.
14. All's Quiet on the Western Front (30) Do I just like this or put it here? I switched about eight times.
Over at Louis's Mr. TV Head blog, I found this poll to vote for the worst Oscar-winning movies of the year.
Here's my break-down:
Didn't see: Gone with the Wind (39), Million Dollar Baby (04), Crash (05)
Worst:
1. Greatest Show on Earth (52) Stick with burning bushes, C.
2. You Can't Take it With You (38) It's a Wonderful Life isn't sappy enough for you? Try Capra's earlier effort.
3. Titanic (97) I liked Kate Winslet's breasts and the part where everyone died.
4. Oliver! (68) This movie doesn't even deserve a snide comment. Considering making it number one.
5. The English Patient (96) The hero makes a deal with the Nazis for the woman he loves. Paging Zombie Bogart to kick the shit out of every pansy involved with this masturbatory pile of slop.
6. Around the World in 80 Days (56) Makes the Jackie Chan version look good.
Bad but forgivable:
1. Gentleman's Agreement (47) Here's Gregory Peck to tell you that hating Jews is wrong.
2. Going My Way (44) "There's a war on. We'd rather vote for Bing singing to choir boys than the much superior Double indemnity.
3. How Green Was My Valley (41) "There's a war in Europe. And Mr. Hearst gave us strict instructions."
4. The Great Ziegfeld (36) You could have made another Thin Man movie from the cast.
5. Mrs. Miniver (42) The weaker, English version of From Here to Eternity. Kinda like the opposite of our beers.
6. Hamlet (48) Everyone says they love this version but, I'm sorry, Gertrude is supposed to be older than her son. Still it's a good way to cut 2-1/2 hours out of a literature class.
7. Forrest Gump (94) "Uh, we're not at war any more. Why didn't we vote for Pulp Fiction?"
8. The Last Emperor (88) Hello, this guy was gayer than James Whale. Shouldn't you have at least hinted at it?
9. Gandhi (82) Just shoot him already and get it over with.
10. The Deer Hunter (78) Yeah, I've got an evening to kill.
11. Silence of the Lambs (91) This is like the opposite of a David Lynch film. The more I think about it, the more I hate it.
12. Ben-Hur (59) You let the Roman Empire fall? Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
Musicals ("Uh, honey, I watched that with you. Don't I deserve a blowjob or something?")
Chicago (02), West Side Story (61), Gigi (59), My Fair Lady (64), American in Paris (51), Sound of Music (65)
("Uh, honey, I watched that with you. Don't I deserve a blowjob from you and a group of your friends?")
Terms of Endearment (83), Ordinary People (80), Kramer vs. Kramer (79), Out of Africa (85)
Category of "Eh"
Platoon (86), American Beauty (99), Best Years of Our Lives (46), Gladiator (00), Braveheart (95), The Sting (73), Driving Miss Daisy (89), Beautiful Mind (01), Chariot of Fire (91), Dances with Wolves (90), Life of Emile Zola (37), Schindler's List (93--yeah, how many times have YOU watched it?)
Liked:
1. All About Eve (50) George Sanders! I love that guy!
2. Midnight Cowboy (69) Why was this rated "X"?
3. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (75) Just try that with the Joker!
4. Broadway Melody (28) Hey, it's making noises!
5. Cimmaron (30) The black kid named Napoleon dies saving a couple of white girls. Hey, just think of how the audience in Georgia reacted.
6. On the Waterfront (54) Too much message but it's got the line.
7. Laurence of Arabia (62) I like that scene with the match.
8. Grand Hotel (31) It's mentioned in The Apartment.
9. The Apartment (60) Fred MacMurray as a sadistic SOB? I love that guy!
10. Rocky (76) Yes, you do too.
11. Cavalcade (32) The Titanic sinks in 15 minutes!
12. Amadeus (84) That's Mozart's middle name.
13. All the King's Men (49) It's funny cuz it's true.
14. A Man for All Seasons (66) I even like the Charlie Heston version.
15. Wings (27) D.W. could have done it better but he was probably drunk at the time.
16. Mutiny on the Bounty (35) Look at him whip that guy! You'd think he was Jesus!
17. Marty (55) They drink beer on screen. That was shocking for the times.
18. It Happened One Night (34) "Uh, honey, yes, I did like it. Okay, I'll get to work.
19. The Lost Weekend (45) "Yeah, it's Reefer Madness Redux but Billy should have won last year. And I like that scene with the bat and the rat."
20. Annie Hall (77) Just to piss off the Star Wars fans.
21. From Here to Eternity (53) This is pretty close to "eh."
Favorites:
1. The Godfather II (74) And he went on to make that stupid version of Dracula.
2. The Godfather (72) And Frankenstein.
3. Patton (70) "Damn! He shot that mule in the head!"
4. Rebecca (40) George Sanders and Alfred Hitchcock! I'm in love!
5. In the Heat of the Night (67) "Do they call you Virgil?"
6. The French Connection (71) The 70s rocked (in this regard).
7. Rain Man (89) I actually don't want to punch Tom Cruise in the face!
8. Casablanca (43) Hey, Bogart, check out that piece of crap that wins in '96.
9. Bridge on the River Kwai (58) Is it just me or are American actors much worse than British?
10. Unforgiven (92) Clint.
11. Return of the King (03) Yes, I'm openly geeky.
12. Shakespeare in Love (98) "Thank you God! I don't care what Covington says--Speilberg and Hanks lost--you do exist!"
13. Tom Jones (63) Hey, in the 60s and not a musical. I use it in class and--oh, nevermind.
14. All's Quiet on the Western Front (30) Do I just like this or put it here? I switched about eight times.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Class Once More
For the second quarter in a row, Clermont College's copier was down on the first week of classes. I had to print everything individually which looked good but must cost a fortune.
Yesterday I turned 38. Oddly enough, I hadn't given my age much thought and for the longest time thought I was already 38 and was turning 39. I feel like Bill Murray on a very long Groundhog's day.
For the second quarter in a row, Clermont College's copier was down on the first week of classes. I had to print everything individually which looked good but must cost a fortune.
Yesterday I turned 38. Oddly enough, I hadn't given my age much thought and for the longest time thought I was already 38 and was turning 39. I feel like Bill Murray on a very long Groundhog's day.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Allegedly Drunk
Remember the post from a while back about zoos in Florida forced to separate dangerous animals even farther from the public, because of the risk of an idiot trying to French kiss a puma?
"This was strictly human error and poor judgment."
Remember the post from a while back about zoos in Florida forced to separate dangerous animals even farther from the public, because of the risk of an idiot trying to French kiss a puma?
"This was strictly human error and poor judgment."
Don't Come Knocking You're a Croc...in
(Hey, they can't all be gems)
This gives me an excuse to tell my sister's alligator story.
While she lived in Florida, a man in the area was awakened by his dog barking. He went down to investigate and found the dog in front of a sliding glass door with a huge alligator on the other side. Being a native, he went back to bed but shortly afterwards heard the glass shatter. Being a native, he had a loaded .45 and went downstairs and blasted the alligator's brains out (even though gators have small brains, this is easier than it sounds--just shoot level between the eyes). Sadly, he missed a few shots and had to replace his hard wood floor. I think the kicker was that his insurance replaced the door but didn't want to pay for the floor.
(Okay, that's not much of a gem either.)
(Hey, they can't all be gems)
This gives me an excuse to tell my sister's alligator story.
While she lived in Florida, a man in the area was awakened by his dog barking. He went down to investigate and found the dog in front of a sliding glass door with a huge alligator on the other side. Being a native, he went back to bed but shortly afterwards heard the glass shatter. Being a native, he had a loaded .45 and went downstairs and blasted the alligator's brains out (even though gators have small brains, this is easier than it sounds--just shoot level between the eyes). Sadly, he missed a few shots and had to replace his hard wood floor. I think the kicker was that his insurance replaced the door but didn't want to pay for the floor.
(Okay, that's not much of a gem either.)
Thinking about Nixon
In keeping with the lightning fast pace of the blogosphere, here's some musings about our 37th president.
1. I've always heard Nixon used as a master of apophasis (ad hominem attacks that are framed in a way that appears the speaker is trying to avoid them, e.g., "I think we should stick to the issues, not the undeniable fact that my opponent's father was a high ranking figure in organized crime and sold bathtub rum to schoolgirls," "I'm not even going to bring up that my opponent is a papist who takes orders from Rome," or "Let's avoid mentioning that the good senator is romantically linked to Rita Haysworth and instead focus on inflation") but all the examples are hypothetical. Does anyone know of a real quote where he does this? (My half-ass attempts: http://www.google.com/search?q=apophasis+Nixon&hl=en&lr=&start=10&sa=N and http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=apophasis+Nixon+examples)
2. The Checker's Speech is a textbook example of all sorts of rhetorical devices (aposiopesis, when he got so choked up with emotion that he couldn't speak for a moment; straw man argument, defiantly announcing that he wouldn't give the dog up although none of his critics had ever suggested such a thing; emotional appeals, the millions of souls lost to communism during the Truman administration) but was the overall speech the truth?
Nixon had been accused of criminally mismanaging campaign funds (the more things change...) and he gave the speech to reveal his entire financial history. It occurred to me that I've read about the speech in many contexts but never if Nixon was innocent of the initial charges.
3. Have you noticed that now Republicans seem to hate Nixon more than Democrats do? After his death, people lined up to call him a statesman but now I hear him used as an example of evil ("He's as bad as Nixon"), and, more often than not, the speaker is conservative. Nixon was behind the founding of the National Endowment for the Arts and he did visit China but why did his old party turn on him?
In keeping with the lightning fast pace of the blogosphere, here's some musings about our 37th president.
1. I've always heard Nixon used as a master of apophasis (ad hominem attacks that are framed in a way that appears the speaker is trying to avoid them, e.g., "I think we should stick to the issues, not the undeniable fact that my opponent's father was a high ranking figure in organized crime and sold bathtub rum to schoolgirls," "I'm not even going to bring up that my opponent is a papist who takes orders from Rome," or "Let's avoid mentioning that the good senator is romantically linked to Rita Haysworth and instead focus on inflation") but all the examples are hypothetical. Does anyone know of a real quote where he does this? (My half-ass attempts: http://www.google.com/search?q=apophasis+Nixon&hl=en&lr=&start=10&sa=N and http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=apophasis+Nixon+examples)
2. The Checker's Speech is a textbook example of all sorts of rhetorical devices (aposiopesis, when he got so choked up with emotion that he couldn't speak for a moment; straw man argument, defiantly announcing that he wouldn't give the dog up although none of his critics had ever suggested such a thing; emotional appeals, the millions of souls lost to communism during the Truman administration) but was the overall speech the truth?
Nixon had been accused of criminally mismanaging campaign funds (the more things change...) and he gave the speech to reveal his entire financial history. It occurred to me that I've read about the speech in many contexts but never if Nixon was innocent of the initial charges.
3. Have you noticed that now Republicans seem to hate Nixon more than Democrats do? After his death, people lined up to call him a statesman but now I hear him used as an example of evil ("He's as bad as Nixon"), and, more often than not, the speaker is conservative. Nixon was behind the founding of the National Endowment for the Arts and he did visit China but why did his old party turn on him?
Friday, March 24, 2006
No More Books
For the first time, I'm going to try to handle four separate classes without assigning text books in any of them. Books make things so much easier ("Next, read the twenty-page article in the beginning of the chapter") but it's hard to justify their cost. For a ten-week class that only meets once a week, no matter how I sliced it, a $65 book seemed like an excess so I'm going to try to rely on handouts and outside sources. I'm just starting to regret it four days before the quarter even starts.
Tuesday was a snow day. My will to live is about exhausted. On Wednesday I went in to Devilgirl's class and actually felt useful for the first time in the school district. In the past, things moved so smoothly that it didn't feel like I made the slightest difference. This time the class had a substitute who wasn't familiar with special-needs classes of the school so for once someone was happy to see me.
Today my step-daughter got a "write-up" for creative use of the F-word (telling girls in front of her to "shut the fuck up" during school announcements). I remember saying worse much earlier than the seventh grade but I had the sense not to be in earshot of the teacher.
Also I tore a muscle in my neck and am back on medication (left-over stuff from my back). It's never enough.
For the first time, I'm going to try to handle four separate classes without assigning text books in any of them. Books make things so much easier ("Next, read the twenty-page article in the beginning of the chapter") but it's hard to justify their cost. For a ten-week class that only meets once a week, no matter how I sliced it, a $65 book seemed like an excess so I'm going to try to rely on handouts and outside sources. I'm just starting to regret it four days before the quarter even starts.
Tuesday was a snow day. My will to live is about exhausted. On Wednesday I went in to Devilgirl's class and actually felt useful for the first time in the school district. In the past, things moved so smoothly that it didn't feel like I made the slightest difference. This time the class had a substitute who wasn't familiar with special-needs classes of the school so for once someone was happy to see me.
Today my step-daughter got a "write-up" for creative use of the F-word (telling girls in front of her to "shut the fuck up" during school announcements). I remember saying worse much earlier than the seventh grade but I had the sense not to be in earshot of the teacher.
Also I tore a muscle in my neck and am back on medication (left-over stuff from my back). It's never enough.
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