Thursday, May 25, 2006


This was a first. I had a class called on account of tornado warning.

Our classroom has no windows but it's on the top floor so maintenance sent everyone to the basement. Once there, a forgotten science experiment turned terribly wrong burst from the laboratory on a bloody trail of terror.

If only.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Purpose of Envy

If anybody is still hanging around, an old friend of mine is working on a new web page. It's still under construction but if you wouldn't mind checking it out and providing any feedback that I can forward to him.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

More Bomb Threats

Nagel Middle School is up to seven bomb threats this year despite having bathroom monitors who allow only two students inside at one time and inspections of the walls after they leave (in our new world order, just writing "bomb" is enough to bring the bomb squad and police dogs).

I know I risk the paralyzing irony of having this bite me on the ass but I hope the parents of the kids responsible have to pay back the tax money for the bomb searches.

On another note, has a mad bomber ever left just a one-word message, "Bomb" or anything else, in a real bombing? The Unabomber's manifesto went on forever. I know the defense is "We can't afford to take a risk" but would they call the dogs for "bom" or "bobm"? That would make Robert Miller think twice before writing bathroom graffiti.
More Gator Bites

Old woman fights back.
Check out

Nothing much to report so here's my current library checkout list:

Terrible Videos

Pokémon. Adventures on the Orange Islands 2 [videorecording]
Pokémon advanced challenge. Vol. 6, Go go Ludicolo! [videorecording]
Pokémon advanced. Volume eight, Jump for joy [videorecording]
The Muppet movie [videorecording]
Yu-gi-oh! [videorecording ]
Yu-gi-oh! [videorecording]
Yu-gi-oh! Enter the Shadow Realm [videorecording]
Thomas & friends. Steamies vs diesels [videorecording]
Power Rangers Ninja storm. Lightning strikers [videorecording]
Looney tunes. Reality check [videorecording]
Hamtaro [videorecording] : little hamsters, big adventures

Kids Books

Valentine's Day Dognapping, Herman, Gail
Blinded by the Light, Torres, J.
Eency Weency Spider, Wang, Margaret.
Scooby-Doo! and the Sunken Ship, Gelsey, James
Humpback Whale, Bright, Michael
Red-eyed Tree Frog, Cowley, Joy.
Crocodiles, Robinson, Claire
Scales, Slime, and Salamanders, Miller-Schroeder, Patricia.
Scooby-Doo! and the Secret Admirer, McCann, Jesse Leon.

Devilboy’s Shark Books

Sharks, Parker, Steve.
Sharks, Gibbons, Gail.
All about Sharks, Arnosky, Jim.
Sharks : shark magic for kids, Corrigan, Patricia
Scary Sharks, Landau, Elaine
The encyclopedia of sharks, Parker, Steve. (I’m putting Steve Parker’s kids through college)
Sharks, Evert, Laura
Sharks, (no author listed)
Sharks, Lopez, Gary.

My Books

Babylonian and Assyrian Religion, Hooke, S. H. (Samuel Henry)
Sumerian Mythology : a study of spiritual and literary achievement in the third millennium B.C., Kramer, Samuel Noah
The Oasis Guide to Asperger Syndrome : advice, support, insight, and inspiration Bashe, Patricia Romanowski
A Short History of Myth, Armstrong, Karen (I always wanted to read Armstrong but I didn’t care much for this book)
Breakthrough parenting for children with special needs : raising the bar of expectations, Winter, Judy

Would you convict? : seventeen cases that challenged the law, Robinson, Paul H.
Voodoo : past and present, Bodin, Ron. (Includes a voodoo love spell that involves “gutting” live hummingbirds)

The Asperger parent : how to raise a child with Asperger syndrome and maintain your sense of humor, Cohen, Jeffrey
Myths and Monsters : from dragons to werewolves, Buller, Laura
The Mythology of Dogs : canine legend and lore through the ages, Hausman, Gerald.
The Roots of Desire : the myth, meaning, and sexual power of red hair, Roach, Marion.

The Book of Lost Books : an incomplete history of all the great books you'll never read, Kelly, Stuart. (Books that have been lost to the ages or never finished—I got it for Shakespeare’s lost plays)
Art of the Avant-Gardes

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Forest Hills School District

On the day of a crucial school levy, a student in Nagel Middle School made another bomb threat in the girls' bathroom. This is the third in the last few months. Is my stepdaughter the culprit? I sincerely doubt it (when Devilboy is in seventh grade, I might not be as confident).

The levy passed 7,306 to 5,746 but God knows how many voters might have went against it due to this stupidity. What really steams me is that kids don't even really have to make a bomb threat today. In most of the local bomb threats, some idiot just wrote the word "BOMB" in the bathroom and the entire school shut down. In the 80s, the janitor would have just washed off the wall. And before any wiseass tries to say today is more dangerous, there were more school shootings in the 80s than in the last ten years. (Can't find stats about bombings.)

The same thing happened today. You'd think it would be cheaper to hire bathroom monitors (although I'm afraid of who might apply).
"Florida Cracker Culture"

Heroic alligator attempts to increase the average American I.Q. by a few decimal points.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Local Discipline

A while back a member of Cincinnati City Council beat his son with a belt for giving a teacher an inappropriate look at school. People of the area applauded him, pointing out that "spare the rod, spoil the fun."

Here's the new hero.
Mermaid's Breasts Too Big for Florida

This story seems great until I saw the actual sculpture.

I guess they're pretty big.
Cincinnati to Lead the World to Peace
via museum of Hoaxes

Devilboy hasn't been sleeping any better. There was another bomb threat at my stepdaughter's school. Drivers are just as big as idiots.

I'm not sure if this local praying for peace experiment is working.

If a new age of peace would suddenly cloak the globe, where would it start? The Promised Land? New Zealand? The Playboy Mansion?

Cincinnati isn't top on my list of peace cities (or piece cities, for that matter).