Thursday, January 11, 2007

Comments Lost

Apparently switching formats ate all the old comments. I apologize to anyone who spent hours coming up with a perfect insult. We'll see how the new system works.

In 2004, I put 631 posts on this blog.
2005, 390.
Last year, only 144.

My goal for 2007 is at least 145 posts, most likely involving hamsters or underwear.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Hamster Update

One of the hamsters has leprosy, mange, or cancer and looks like it will drop any minute. It doesn't seem to be in pain but looks like it went through a blender.

As I began this post I realized that I didn't bury the hamster's body that I left in the garage the other night. It's this inattention to detail that makes me glad I didn't go into serial killing.

Monday, January 08, 2007


What's happened since last post (in no particular order):

1. Two hamsters died. Pikachu and one of the babies born on February 11, 2004. Both went on the same day without an apparent connection. I took the cowardly way out--sneaking them outside, burying them under a pine tree, and telling my daughter that they must have escaped. She set out food for them until...

2. I replaced them with two rabbits. (Okay, there is a definite order tor these two points). She was thrilled but it turned out I dramatically under-estimated the amount of solid and liquid waste that rabbits produce. And it turns out they won't touch carrots. Mel Blanc lied to me.

3. Finished UC and NKU. NKU paid me before I was expecting them. UC held my check until after I had already sent out a pack of bills. If Ford had lived another week, I would have covered everything. As it was, UC used his death as an excuse to slow down the pipe line. Cost me $200.

4. Enrollment dropped unexpectedly at Clermont so the department took away one of my classes and gave it to a full-timer. Merry Christmas.

5. In early December, my wife threw a tantrum at my step-daughter which climaxed with her (my wife) refusing to accept any Christmas presents. I didn't argue. This saved us financially.

6. I got a flat tire today. For the record, Ford's jack for the Jeep Cherokee is the worst designed jack I've ever used.

7. Another hamster died today. I smuggled its corpse out to the garage for burial at a later date.

8. I almost finished a Christmas episode of "Devilboy and Evil Dad." I'll save it for next year.

9. Five workers were hired at the deli. Four have already quit plus two of the older workers. The last guy is thinking of moving to Alabama.

One of the workers was doing fine until she heard two of the older folk (one of which has since departed) make negative remarks about lesbians. Said worker was a lesbian and immediately quit.

I would understand but the worker who instigated the conversation is also a lesbian and very open about it. (She made out with a girl in the bakery a few days ago on the clock.) If I heard a fat guy make cracks about fat people, I might disagree but I wouldn't be offended, certainly not to the point of quitting a job.

Of course, the deli is a horrible place to work so maybe she was just looking for an excuse.

10. UC gave me the wrong room number for my Wednesday night class. I had to check on-line registration to find out where it was. Another instructor was given the room number of the fitness center so I can't really complain.

11. Got the new Blogger format (hence the goofy colors).