Another Stupid Movie Meme
Right when I started this blog, I did something like this but now apparently it's in vogue. Blame Pharyngula.
1. Titanic (1997) $600,779,824 Saw in theater with then girlfriend/now wife. She hated it so much that she couldn't stop yelling at the screen. Almost got me pummelled by outraged middle-aged women.
2. Star Wars (1977) $460,935,665 Saw in theater first with my dad; later with my step-daughter. Definitely better the first time but it still holds a special place in my heart.
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) $434,949,459 Saw in theater as kid. Not particularly moved to see it again.
4. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) $431,065,444 Saw in theater with step-daughter. I realized that George Lucas isn't making a space opera--he's re-making Old Yeller in six parts. First you love it, then you feel obligated to unload a rifle at it.
5. Spider-Man (2002) $403,706,375 Saw DVD. Best comic-book movie ever.
6. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) $377,019,252 My wife and step-daughter saw it twice at the theaters. I still haven't seen it on video.
7. The Passion of the Christ (2004) $370,025,697 Wife saw it. I passed.
8. Jurassic Park (1993) $356,784,000 Okay, it's brain-dead. But it has cool dinosaurs. I love dinosaurs.
9. Shrek 2 (2004) $356,211,000 Haven't seen it... yet.
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) $340,478,898 First saw it last November. It's not Citizen Kane but how can idiot Star-Wars fans bitch about it?
11. Finding Nemo (2003) $339,714,367 Own the DVD. Saw it about a million times. It's still good.
12. Forrest Gump (1994) $329,691,196 Wife hated it. I didn't quite.
13. The Lion King (1994) $328,423,001 Saw this a million times too. It's no longer good.
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) Or this.
15. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) $313,837,577 Got in fight with wife and went to longest movie at theater. Very happy with result.
16. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) $310,675,588 Not if George Lucas personally drove me to the movies and bought me a coke.
17. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) $309,125,409 Only looking back do I realize, George started sucking earlier than I thought.
18. Independence Day (1996) $306,124,059 Great effects.
19. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) $305,411,224 I liked it more than Forrest Gump.
20. The Sixth Sense (1999) $293,501,675 Probably the best pure "ghost" movie. Still can't touch The Exorcist.
21. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) $290,158,751 One of the best SF movies ever. What the heck happened?
22. Home Alone (1990) $285,761,243 Have always left room when on.
23. The Matrix Reloaded (2003) $281,492,479 I repeat, "What the heck happened?"
24. Shrek (2001) $267,652,016 Better than Nemo.
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) $261,970,615 Uh, how about Shrek? Or Spirited Away? Or put a bullet in my head.
26. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) $260,031,035 Uh, how about Chamber of Secrets?
27. Jaws (1975) $260,000,000 The only movie that I loved as a kid and still holds up. Like Jurassic Park with developed characters.
28. Monsters, Inc. (2001) $255,870,172 Not quite as good the millionth time but good.
29. Batman (1989) $251,188,924 Liked at the time. Thanks, George Clooney.
30. Men in Black (1997) $250,147,615 Good effects. Wish I'd bought the comic years back instead of putting it back on the shelf.
31. Toy Story 2 (1999) $245,823,397 Still good.
32. Bruce Almighty (2003) $242,589,580
33. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) $242,374,454 I'm afraid to watch it again. I loved Return of the Jedi at first but upon further review. . .
34. Twister (1996) $241,700,000
35. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) $241,437,427 "No! I took you to Titanic and you almost got me killed!"
36. Ghost Busters (1984) $238,600,000 I would rent it for the kids if not for the ghost/blow job scene.
37. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) $234,760,500 This is still in the top 40?
38. Cast Away (2000) $233,630,478
39. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) $229,074,524 Sometimes even cool dinosaurs aren't enough.
40. Signs (2002) $227,965,690 Terrible science. No logic. Still kinda liked it.
41. Rush Hour 2 (2001) $226,138,454 Less Tucker, more kung-fu. Jackie was in Enter the Dragon. Let him fight!
42. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) $219,200,000 Thanks to this movie, when conservatives say that Hollywood is evil, I cannot disagree.
43. Ghost (1990) $217,631,306 Always left the room.
44. Aladdin (1992) $217,350,219 Okay for about 300 viewings.
45. Saving Private Ryan (1998) $216,119,491 Shakespeare in Love really was much better. And Shakespeare in Love wasn't that great.
46. Mission: Impossible II (2000) $215,397,307 Saw it. Have no memories of it.
47. X2 (2003) $214,948,780 As Covington pointed out, "Why didn't Iceman just freeze all the water so Jean Grey didn't have to die?" Otherwise, pretty good.
48. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) $213,079,163 Watched part of it on cable. No real inclination to even get it for free at the library.
49. Back to the Future (1985) $210,609,762 Liked it. Might rent it for the kids. . . someday.
50. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) $205,399,422 Same as Goldmember.
51. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) $204,843,350 Liked it but too long to see again.
52. The Exorcist (1973) $204,565,000 Maybe not the best movie ever but best on this list.
53. The Mummy Returns (2001) $202,007,640 You do not deserve to bask in Father Marrin's shadow.
54. Armageddon (1998) $201,573,391 "You know how Elvis used to shoot out his television? Put in that DVD and I'm starting to channel."
55. Gone with the Wind (1939) $198,655,278 Only Academy Award Movie of the Year I haven't seen (except for ROTK which I intend to see soon).
56. Pearl Harbor (2001) $198,539,855 How did that get here?
57. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) $197,171,806 At least, no annoying kid.
58. Toy Story (1995) $191,800,000 Surprisingly good. Pixar animators actually give a damn about their movies, as opposed to those at Disney judging from Brother Bear and Treasure Planet.
59. Men in Black II (2002) $190,418,803 A couple funny parts. Uh, couldn't you make the sequel better than the cartoon series?
60. Gladiator (2000) $187,670,866 Thought it was only okay until Ralph re-enacted it on Sopranos.
61. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) $184,925,485 I am not gay but I think this is a wonderful movie.
62. Dances with Wolves (1990) $184,208,848 My God, I liked a movie with Charlie Rocket?
63. Batman Forever (1995) $184,031,112 Val Kilmer? Who you gonna get next? George Clooney?
64. The Fugitive (1993) $183,875,760 It would be great even without the countless Simpsons' homages.
65. Ocean's Eleven (2001) $183,405,771 Wife fell asleep midway. I didn't think that was a bad idea.
66. What Women Want (2000) $182,805,123 I'd much rather watch Passion than see this again.
67. The Perfect Storm (2000) $182,618,434 Only watched half of it. Possibly the other half wasn't so aweful.
68. Liar Liar (1997) $181,395,380 Not a great fan but this perfectly fits the model of the Classic Greek New Comedy.
69. Grease (1978) $181,360,000 Wife loves it. Uh, time to walk the dog.
70. Jurassic Park III (2001) $181,166,115 Better than II. Neat dinosaurs.
71. Mission: Impossible (1996) $180,965,237 I know I saw this but apparently not very memorable.
72. Planet of the Apes (2001) $180,011,740 Heston was great. Everything else sucked.
73. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) $179,870,271 Heston was great. Everything else sucked. And Heston wasn't in this one.
74. Pretty Woman (1990) $178,406,268 Uh, let's watch porn instead.
75. Tootsie (1982) $177,200,000 In my memories, it's funny.
76. Top Gun (1986) $176,781,728 Even in high school I realized this had more movie cliches than any other film.
77. There’s Something About Mary (1998) $176,483,808 Did you know Kevin Smith wanted to do a semen-in-a-girl's-hair joke in Mallrats but the producers said audiences would hate it?
78. Ice Age (2002) $176,387,405 My kids think it's hysterical. I hate most of the voice-actors but still liked it.
79. Crocodile Dundee (1986) $174,635,000 Kinda liked it but have no intention of ever seeing it again.
80. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) $173,585,516 "Turn that crap off."
81. Elf (2003) $173,381,405
82. Air Force One (1997) $172,888,050
83. Rain Man (1988) $172,825,435 Tom Cruise makes up for Days of Thunder
84. Apollo 13 (1995) $172,071,312 Much, much better than Gump.
85. The Matrix (1999) $171,383,253 Boy, they couldn't screw up the sequels to this, could they?
86. Beauty and the Beast (1991) $171,301,428 Debatably the best Disney film. Only saw it a few hundred times but it holds up.
87. Tarzan (1999) $171,085,177 Might be the best Disney if not for Phil Collins and Rosie O'Donnell. (I don't hate Rosie because she's a lesbian. I hate her because she's as annoying as hell.)
88. A Beautiful Mind (2001) $170,708,996 Liked it. But wouldn't give it movie of the year.
89. Chicago (2002) $170,684,505 Or this.
90. Three Men and a Baby (1987) $167,780,960 What twisted mind thinks assisted suicide should be illegal when the producers of this still live?
91. Meet the Parents (2000) $166,225,040
92. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)$165,500,000 There's not enough oral sex in the world to make me sit through this again.
93. Hannibal (2001) $165,091,464 This too. (But here scenario is much more unlikely.)
94. Catch Me If You Can (2002) $164,435,221 Actually liked a Leo movie.
95. Big Daddy (1999) $163,479,795
96. The Sound of Music (1965) $163,214,286 No comment.
97. Batman Returns (1992) $162,831,698
98. A Bug’s Life (1998) $162,792,677 Weakest of Pixar movies but still better than virtually every other kids' flick.
99. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) $161,963,000
100. The Waterboy (1998) $161,487,252