A Break in my Melodrama

Here's a meme from Nathan's page Not the greatest but it got my attention.


1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

Only my car and only a quick eyeballing. All my cars have been so bland that I can stack dead bodies in the back seat and drive through an FOP picnic without getting stopped.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?

I don't think so. It's been a while.

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?

Years and years. And around here, we say sled-riding.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?

With Devilboy around, the best I do is doze.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?

I can't improve on Nathan's, "No. I don’t disbelieve in them either."

6. Do you consider yourself creative?

I'd like think so.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?

Technically, weren't they divorced at the time?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Technically, I'm still married.

9. Do you stay friends with your ex’s?

No.

10. Do you know how to play poker?

Yes, but lately it's been Go Fish and Old Maid.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Whoever wrote this meme obviously didn't have young children.

12. What’s your favorite commercial?

"Where's the Beef?" I just watch DVDs anymore.

13. What are you allergic to?

Cats, ash tree pollen, some mold, and some flowers. Possibly latex.

14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?

I guess I would but I've never been in the position since God knows when.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?

Yes, and, like Patrick Star, I keep it in a secret box.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?

I'd like a comet to strike the stadium they're playing. I haven't really followed baseball since the strike.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?

Only once and I was surprisingly good.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?

I usually remember them for a few minutes after waking up and then they fade. Except last night when I had a dream I was back in high school and went on a secret mission with the female president of the U.S.'s daughter and another teenage girl-spy. Maybe that was the only dream I've ever had worth remembering.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

It's happened but I can't pin it down.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?

I could probably name 50 but I won't.

21. What’s the one thing on your mind now?

Why I'm doing this when it's the last day of class.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass Barbie is?

No but I know who Aaron from Titus Andronicus is.

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?

Yes. And strap the kids in their booster seats. I even strap down the bodies in the trunk.

24. What cell service do you use?

I think my wife cancelled my cell phone because I never used it.

25. Do you like Sushi?

No but my wife does.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?

I can't prove they'd have been fatal but I suspect.

27. What do you wear to bed?

Anymore, regular clothes. That way when Devilboy starts crying six minutes after I close my eyes, I don't have to get dressed.

28. Been caught stealing?

No

29. What shoe size do you have?

My shoes are 14 but I think they should be 15.

30. Do you truly hate anyone?

If you define "hate," as "wishing eternal damnation upon someone," I'd say no. But I'd like to see a few bastards in Purgatory for a couple billion years.

31. Classic Rock or Rap?

They only rap I've heard in the last year is "When Worlds Collide" from Spongebob (performed by a caveman and a robot). I'm not sure if that's really rap.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

I'd just like to sleep.

33. Favorite Song?

"Marvin, I love you" by Marvin the Paranoid Android.

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?

Probably.

35. What food do you find disgusting?

Most fruit.

36. Do you sing in the shower ?

No.

37. Did you ever play, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”?

I was an altar boy, you know.


38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?

Probably.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?

Not as often as I should have.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?

Yes, lately just by my children.