The Monday Report

After the thumb slicing and death last week, thankfully nothing of the ordinary happened.

A teenage boy found a bunch of bugs in one of the deli sandwiches. The manager on duty had me throw out the contaminated lettuce and replace the sandwich. Since the manager doesn't really own the store and possibly owns no corporate stock, this was clearly an act of blatant touchy-feely socialism.

There have been several collections for Bonnie's children. I doubt if it will go far but at least it was something.

If anyone remembers the legal situation with my wife's niece, the last I've heard, there have been no developments whatsoever. I joked that the police were deliberately dragging things out until she turned 18 but maybe that's exactly what they're doing. More power to them if they are.

On a weird note, one of our hamsters went psycho for no apparent reason. Within a few days he went from the sweetest, most gentle of the whole bunch to a blood-thirsty biting machine. In a horror movie, this would be the start of a planet-wide plague that transforms animals into zombies but I think it might have been the humidity.