Janet Jackson's nipple and last night's music awards have got a lot of parents upset, demanding something be done about the fearsome problem of boobies in view of children (I think we'd better pass a law that women can only breast-feed in pitch darkness or infants will be traumatized).

Here's a solution. When my kids broke our last t.v., I got an older model that has only one auxiliary hook-up. I could either use it for the VCR and DVD or to the antenna (sure, I could have split the signal but that would cost $2.69 and a trip to Radio Shack). Since the only shows I like are The Simpsons and Sopranos (and the Sopranos aren't coming to broadcast television any time soon), my choice was clear.

If you do this, you don't have to worry about boobies and bad words and guns and such. Also your kids will soon get spoiled of not watching commercials so within a few months, even if they watch at their friends' houses, the ads will drive them crazy (unless they watch Sex in the City on HBO in which case, you're screwed).

Okay, it's not the perfect system but if parents have to get off their asses every 30 minutes to maintain an electric babysitter, it can't hurt.

(Oddly enough, we can still get the signal from the local CBS affiliate without an antenna. Thus, Janet Jackson's nipple did appear in our home but alas I wasn't paying attention.)