Don't Come Knocking You're a Croc...in
(Hey, they can't all be gems)

This gives me an excuse to tell my sister's alligator story.

While she lived in Florida, a man in the area was awakened by his dog barking. He went down to investigate and found the dog in front of a sliding glass door with a huge alligator on the other side. Being a native, he went back to bed but shortly afterwards heard the glass shatter. Being a native, he had a loaded .45 and went downstairs and blasted the alligator's brains out (even though gators have small brains, this is easier than it sounds--just shoot level between the eyes). Sadly, he missed a few shots and had to replace his hard wood floor. I think the kicker was that his insurance replaced the door but didn't want to pay for the floor.

(Okay, that's not much of a gem either.)