When a Fire Official Loves a Sheep

Of all the things going on in the world, why do I even care?

I guess because, on some level, I never really believed this stuff was true. But crikey!

"You caught me{ellipsis}. I tried to (expletive) your sheep," Johnson told his neighbor.

Johnson's neighbor told sheriff's deputies he was called home Saturday afternoon when his 13-year-old daughter saw Johnson drag one of their sheep into a barn.

"The sheep ran out of the barn at that point," the report says.

Johnson apologized, according to the report, and said he'd had "too much to drink."

Alcohol was involved? Now that's a surprise.

"I probably do need some help."

UPDATE: This is how they deal with the situation in Sudan.