Making Everyone Happy

One of Royko's columns really stood out: "A Hard Look at Mooching" from September 3, 1975 - In an open letter to Governor George Wallace, Royko pointed out that, for all the whining about welfare cheats, 11 states received $14 billion more in federal funds than they paid in income tax. All had once been part of the Confederacy. Unless things changed recently, this holds true today.

This made me wonder: why exactly do we want the south in the Union anyway? How about doing the opposite that China did with Hong Kong? Set a date and anyone still in the south after the deadline is officially expatriated. The south has been spouting off about rising again for the last 140 years. Maybe they need a little push.

I wouldn't expect the Neo-Confederacy to stay intact. For all the rhetoric, Jefferson Davis slashed states' rights beyond anything the Union even attempted. (North Carolina and Georgia wrote a protest but didn't do a damn thing about it.) I'm surprised Texans put up with it then and I doubt if they would now. I'd bet the Republic of Texas to secede in less than a week, probably followed by the People's Republic of Disney World.

The southerns would be happy to have what they've always wanted. The northerns would be happy with lower taxes and a surplus that could bolster Social Security. Kentuckians would be happy because either they'd have access to lower cigarette and liquor prices across the border or the commonwealth's economy would benefit from Confederates coming across to buy from them.

As a follow-up, Hawaii really sucks up tax dollars: how about auctioning it off to the Japanese or highest bidder?